Uh oh, we have a problem

Insomnia, things to say, and a hard, crushing job tomorrow are a bad combination.

So I made a really rookie mistake that could have had grave consequences last week. I was pulled into the office to explain myself and as is my custom, I made a full confession that I’d left a medical device in a classroom that was supposed to be with a child at all times. Yes, I know it’s bad, and yes I don’t feel like losing my job would be overkill.

Knowing that my job’s on the line because of something I have done is really terrifying. It’s not that I need the job (which now I really don’t as much as I did), it is that it’s even being discussed and that I made it in the first place. All the anxious feelings I had from back when I had full blown depression and anxiety are back and I’m even considering doubling up on my meds for this week just to be able to cope with what is going on in my head.

Right now, I’m sitting on my computer, with a herbal tea in my hand, trying not to cry or overthink what I’m going to do should everything go south. Perhaps I can salvage the day, perhaps not. It’s the sheer unknown about it that makes me want to cry. I’ve been offered the chance to open at my previous job, driving a van (which makes me uncomfortable), so there are options that will work better for our new schedules than this current one.

The only good thing that happened is that my husband is doing well at his current and new job. His current job is willing to work around his new job and not lose him, so even though I can’t figure out how to keep a job, at least he’s doing well. My kids will do much better having a shorter schedule, especially since school is starting up soon. It’s the uncertainty of everything that’s truly killing me!

How do you cope with a situation like this? I’d love input, especially from those who are like me and tend to overthink EVERYTHING!